


Family Ties

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Family, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6215872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he was Rafael’s best friend or law partner or the guy he went running with, his mother wouldn’t be able to stop singing his praises.  But because they were lovers, he was someone who was rarely mentioned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Ties

“I'm here, hon, I'm here.” Trevor walked through the front door. “I'm so sorry I'm late and there isn't much of an excuse but I was working as fast as I could to get here. Everything I could put on hold, I did. We...something smells amazing.”

“Hello to you too.” Rafael poked his head out of the kitchen and smiled. He wasn’t in the best mood but there was always something adorable about harried Trevor. His fiancée wasn’t that type; he didn’t get overwhelmed easily. So to see him having one of these moments was enough to make Rafael smile a bit. It wasn’t him for a change.

“I'm sorry.” Trevor put his briefcase down, hung his coat in the closet, and kissed his fiancée hello. “Hi there. What smells so amazing?”

“I got some boneless, skinless chicken thighs and cut them chunk style. Then I let them marinate for 36 hours in the best Cuban spices and this great barbecue style marinade I saw on the Cooking Channel. I put it into a wok with chopped red and yellow peppers and some broccoli and then will place it over a bed of fluffy brown rice. I call it…”

“Stir fry.” Trevor said smiling.

“Technically, yes.”

“When is your mom getting here?”

“Um…about a half hour.” Rafael looked at the clock on the microwave. “That gives me enough time to have a glass of scotch for my nerves. I should've never quit smoking.”

“Rafi, you haven’t smoked since law school. There are other, healthier ways to curb stress.”

“I wish we had enough time for one of those ways now.”

“Well I have just enough time to change out of my work clothes and into something comfortable.” 

“Not too comfortable. I want you to look very nice.”

“Don’t I always look nice?”

“Well, sometimes when you’re bumming it you are really bumming it, cuchura.”

“I would never bum it in front of your mom.” Trevor said. “I’ll put on khakis and a sweater; it’s ‘the can't go wrong with mothers’ ensemble.”

The truth was there was a thousand ways to go wrong with Lucia Barba. She always found something to make waves about. That was her culture and her generation and her way. On too many occasions to count, both the first time around and since their reconciliation in the summer, Trevor watched as Lucia went in. He would see the happiness in Rafael be chipped away like a marble sculpture until nothing but the pulp of him was left underneath. 

Lucia never seemed to notice his facial expressions change, his body language, his tone (unless she was deeming him disrespectful), until he was a scared little boy in a protective shell. It would take days for him to shake off one visit, sometimes longer. The Barbas were not a healthy family. But Rafael kept trying. He kept trying to work towards being something they never had been. Trevor couldn’t blame him…no one wanted to be all alone in the world. Even if the people in your life would only have your back under terms and conditions, sometimes that was better than nothing.

“I have faith in you.” Rafael gave him a quick kiss before checking on his rice.

“Hey, are you and Liv speaking yet?”

“Ohhh, we are not going to talk about that tonight. I have to deal with all of that plus my mother. And you think I don’t know, even though I don’t have names, that there are many men in my office who have benefitted from this, which is truly disgusting. The church has gone from molesting children to pimping them out…well, that’s what Olivia believes. Meanwhile the church is telling my boss and the NYPD Chief of Detectives that Ed Tucker is behind all of this and may have dragged his priest cousin into it.”

“Does Ed Tucker look like a guy who would have that kind of relationship with his cousin the priest to you?” Trevor asked.

“Go get dressed.” He pointed at his fiancée.

“Will you make me a drink, love?”

“I will.”

Trevor nodded and walked back into Rafael’s bedroom. He still didn’t quite think of it as their bedroom, as he was sure Rafael didn’t think of his that way. They were looking for a place together; Trevor thought it was a good idea to be there before the mid-September wedding. That was easier said than done though. Both wanted to be homeowners and homes in Manhattan were not cheap. 

Trevor would've loved some space, land, but that was never going to happen. Was it fair to raise kids on the 16th floor of a condo building? Would they even be raising kids? That was something they needed to discuss. Even though Trevor hated the idea of rocking the boat, adding tarnish to this sweet, wonderful, shiny thing he had with his man, it was going to be different this time around. They would have the hard conversations and they would come through them together. If they could make it through an evening with Lucia then they could do anything.

***

“I’ll take your coat, Mami.” Rafael kissed her cheek and helped her out of the heavy winter jacket. “Was the ride alright?”

“It was alright.” Lucia replied. “She drove a little too fast over the bridge and I told her to slow down. She actually listened. She was pleasant but not too chatty. But it wasn’t a cab.”

“It’s called Uber. It’s the wave of the future.”

“So random people just drive cars and call them cabs?” Lucia asked.

“No, Mami. It’s a little more than that.”

“We have these Ubers in the Bronx. We call them gypsies. Manhattan always has to be fanciful about things.”

“There are Ubers in Duluth too.” Rafael said.

“I don’t think there's anything in Duluth.”

“Hey look, we agree on something. Would you like a glass of peach tea?”

“That sounds good. Is Trevor not here? I expected he would join us for dinner.”

“I'm here.” 

Trevor came out of the bedroom as if on cue and Rafael hid his smirk. The man could make a hell of an entrance and that was probably the one thing about Trevor that always impressed his mother. She actually really, really liked him. If he were Rafael’s best friend or law partner or the guy he went running with, his mother wouldn’t be able to stop singing his praises. But because they were lovers, he was someone who was rarely mentioned.

“Lucia, you look fantastic.” He gave her a hug and kissed her cheek. “Oh and you smell so good, what are you wearing?”

“White Diamonds.” She replied. “A woman can never go wrong in an Elizabeth Taylor perfume.”

“It’s been mom’s favorite for as long as I can remember.” Rafael said. He came out of the kitchen and handed his mother a glass. “Peach tea.”

“Thank you. I'm hungry, I hope you won't keep me waiting too long to eat.”

“It’s coming right up.”

“Do you want me to set the table or do anything?” she asked.

Rafael was about to say no but he knew his mother loved to busy herself. She was surely tired after a long day but if he didn’t let her set then she would probably supervise and that would just drive him crazier than he was already feeling.

“Setting the table will be lovely. Trevor will show you were everything is. I'm just going to freshen up.”

Rafael went back into his bedroom and closed the door. He just needed a few minutes to himself. For nearly a week since this was scheduled, he'd been anxious. Then the whole church/NYPD/political underage prostitution ring kicked him in the nuts. The boyfriend of his close friend was implicated in that ring. 

Then basically all hell broke loose. To say Rafael was feeling the heat everywhere was an understatement. But he had to focus on tonight. Once he got tonight over with there would be one less pressure on him. It wasn’t the only one around his neck but it was by far the heaviest.

***

“How is the stir fry, Mami?” Rafael asked, sipping on his second glass of scotch. The seasonings were messing with the taste of the Glenfiddich and he wasn’t pleased. But he smiled and shut up about it.

“You used a nice mixture of spices and the marinade is different. The broccoli should be stiffer and the rice fluffier. But all in all, it’s alright.”

“Thank you.” His smile was probably stiffer than the broccoli.

“So Rafael tells me that you're considering retirement at the end of the year.” Trevor said.

“I am. I've been working in the schools since I graduated from teaching college. My mother sacrificed so much so that I could have my education but I am old and tired. Kids are not the same as they used to be. I am not the same. I’ll have my pension so even though it’s a limited income, it’s nothing I'm not used to.”

“Mami, you don’t have to worry for money.” Rafael said.

“Despite this condo that I don’t know how you can afford, you are not made of money, Rafael. The time will come when you have to care for me. For now, I can do it on my own.”

“Just please, let Trevor and I know if you need things. I don’t want you going without.”

“Absolutely.” Trevor nodded. “Anything we can do, Lucia.”

“That’s kind.” She smiled.

“Trevor and I invited you over to talk about something important, Mami. As you know, this past summer we decided to rekindle our relationship. I know it’s something that you don’t quite understand or endorse. Be that as it may, you are my mother and when life changes occur it’s important to me that you be aware of them. I've asked Trevor to marry me. He's accepted.”

Lucia looked at her son. She really studied his face; scrutinized those deep green eyes. Then she turned and looked at Trevor. He was smiling but not overly so; he wasn’t trying to get her to like him. Finding something to say was impossible. 

Every week she went to Mass and twice a week she went and lit candles for her parents and children. She prayed that this deviance would be lifted from Rafael’s heart. All his life he'd had to struggle against something. If he could just settle down with a nice women he wouldn’t be so anxious all the time. Trevor was a nice person but he was not a nice woman. 

And now they wanted to get married. What did that even mean? Lucia knew that gay marriage was legal now. It had been in New York even before the U.S. Supreme Court made their decision. She watched some of the YouTube videos with co-workers of happy, kissing gays and lesbians being married. 

It just wasn’t right. She never wanted to deny someone their happiness and their rights, but that didn’t mean that she had to agree to it. Leviticus 20:13 said “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them”. Most people only knew that verse because they were homophobes. Lucia didn’t consider herself one of those people. But this was also not a blight that was ever supposed to touch her family.

“Is one of you going to wear a wedding dress?” she asked.

“Mami! Seriously? Of course not. We’re going to wear suits.”

“Well a priest won't marry you, Rafi, it’s an abomination. You know what the Bible says about this and what happens to those who engage in it. You are spitting in the eyes of God.”

“Not everyone believes in the same things you believe in.” Rafael said, knowing his mother was a churchgoer. That didn’t make her sinless. She had racked up just as many as the rest of them. But that was something one never thought about as they harped on yours. “You are well within your right to do so but my first statement still stands.”

“If you're not married in the church it’s not a real marriage.” Lucia said. “It has to be endorsed with God’s blessing.”

“I don’t even…”

“I know a lovely priest who will marry us.” Trevor jumped in. He knew Rafael was agnostic but there was no need to give Lucia more to harp on at the moment. “Our marriage will be blessed Lucia, that’s a promise. Jesus, in Mark 12:31 said “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these”. He died on the cross for our sins, made us new again, and his holy covenant did away with the eye for an eye fear his father bestowed upon the world. God loved us so much that he gave us his only son and all that son told us was to love one another. Rafael and I love one another.”

“How can two men be married?” she asked. “This doesn’t make any sense. Men and women get married, they have children, and they repopulate the world, Rafael.”

“And they get divorced at the rate of 45%.” Rafael replied. “Trevor and I will share property and split assets and go grocery shopping together and take vacations. We will care for each other when sick and be each other’s light when times are dark. We will be friends, partners, and lovers until death do us part.”

“But you don’t know if you're compatible. You haven’t even been seeing each other that long.”

“I've known Trevor for about seven years. We’ve been in a relationship before. It was my fault it didn’t work out the first time. I wasn’t ready, I let my fear and the opinions of others control me but I won't do that anymore. He makes me happy and we’re getting married.”

“He bought me an engagement ring.” Trevor showed her the ring. He still showed it to any and every one. Yes he was a very happy engaged man.

“It’s Tiffany.” Rafael said.

“You always had excellent, and expensive, taste.” His mother said clicking her tongue. “I want you to be happy, Rafi. I can't pretend to understand this and I don’t even know if I want to but I also can't stop you. You're a grown man.”

“Yes I am.” He nodded.

“You told me that you were bisexual.” Lucia said. “You said it meant you were attracted to men and women. Why don’t you just marry a woman then? Are you not really attracted to them? Did you say you were to placate me?”

“I don’t need to placate you…I'm done doing that. And I don’t love a woman, mami, I love Trevor.”

“Did you even try? Did you date any women? You're successful and handsome; I'm sure you could've found someone. How can you try so hard in some aspects of your life and not at all in others?”

“I have found someone.” He said through clenched teeth.

“You always had to take the hard road.” Lucia shook her head. “I've never understood that about you. Life is hard enough but you always took the extra step to make it just that much harder.”

“Yes, because I asked for papi to make me his punching bag. I asked to be chubby and short so the kids in the neighborhood could chase me and beat me up. I asked for you to have more love for Alex at 7 then you had for your own son. I asked to be bisexual. And I asked to struggle with self-loathing because I was so worried that if I was anything other than straight or perfect that my parents would hate me more than they already did. No one takes extra steps to make their lives miserable when so many around them can do it without seeking permission.”

“I have never hated you, Rafael.” Lucia’s eyes widened. “Not understanding you is not the same thing. You never helped me…you wanted to be different, better than us.”

“I'm your son. I'm intelligent, law-abiding, mostly kind, loyal to a fault, and I came from you. That should be enough.”

“I don’t want to be the bad guy.” Lucia stood up and shook her head. “In your head, I am always the bad guy. If you want to be gay married to Trevor than you are going to do what you want to. If it makes you happy then do it. I don’t understand it but I will always love you.”

“OK.”

Rafael didn’t know what else to say so he was done talking. There was no convincing her. He had almost deluded himself into thinking there was some way that they might. She would’ve been happier with a woman, it wouldn’t even have mattered if the two were all wrong for each other. Lucia knew so little about Trevor. All she knew was he had a penis and the conversation was over after that. All other information was fruit from his poisonous penis tree.

“There's Flan Cubano for dessert if you’d like, Lucia.” Trevor started to clear the dishes. He knew the conversation was over and the only place to go from there was down. So he was going to quietly support Rafael by letting it end. “We know you prefer your Cuban fare from the South Bronx but Capri in Spanish Harlem really does have an amazing Flan Cubano.”

“I'm not very hungry, thank you Trevor. You have such excellent manners.”

“You can take it home, Mami. I don’t even like flan; I bought it for you. I've heard nothing but lovely things about it.”

“I’ll take it home. I’ll let you know how it compares to your abuelita’s and to Confección, which has always had the best flan in the South Bronx.”

“Fine. I should probably get an Uber here, it’s getting late so you should probably get going.”

“You don’t want me to help clean up?” Lucia asked.

“I've been cleaning up after myself for quite a while.” Rafael said. “I can handle it. I can handle all of it, I promise.”

***

Trevor wasn’t going to be the worrisome kind. Rafael wanted to go out for a walk. He wanted to go by himself and Trevor didn’t push. He knew after that dinner that his fiancée needed air and space. So he kissed his forehead, told him that he loved him, and watched him walk out the door. 

That had been nearly 25 minutes ago. They were in Central Park West, as Manhattan went that was relatively safe. He could've walked down to one of the bars for a drink on his own. He could've taken a walk through the park though there were parts of Central Park that were still sketchy after dark. Maybe he even called someone to rant a bit though it wouldn’t be Liv since they were currently on the outs. 

No, Trevor wasn’t going to worry. Rafael was fine and this space was a good thing. They had gotten a hard thing over with. They did it without cursing or crying, which was always a victory. 

Lucia would never be 100% behind their union. It was what it was. Trevor knew how much that hurt Rafael but also knew that he expected nothing less. This dinner wasn’t about making a miracle. It was about telling her and getting it over with.

Deciding to give it a few more minutes before calling his phone or going out to take a walk around the block and look, Trevor went into the bedroom to change for the third time today. He ended up stripping down to his boxer briefs and just falling onto the bed. He was tired; Lucia was tiring. That probably wasn’t the best thing to say about his soon to be mother-in-law but it didn’t make her too different from most in that respect. 

He actually didn’t care much if she liked him or not. Trevor was fine with who he was and whoever wasn’t could keep on walking. But he always worried about Rafael. There was nothing he could do about his mother’s cool indifference to him but it had to hurt. It hurt Rafael deeply and so it hurt Trevor.

“What did I do to deserve coming home to this?”

Trevor opened his eyes and looked up. Rafael was leaning on the doorframe of the bedroom, arms crossed wearing a weary smile. Had Trevor fallen asleep? It was possible, he was exhausted. But it probably wasn’t for too long.

“I was going to put on pajamas but wasn’t going to sleep without you.” He said.

“No pajamas, cuchura.” Rafael said.

“OK.”

“And you cleaned the kitchen?”

“When I'm worried, I clean. I didn’t want to worry too much, I wanted to give you room to breathe. So I needed to occupy my mind.”

“My cleaning lady is so glad we’re back together. It gives her even less work to do.”

“C'mere, babe.” Trevor sat up on the bed and patted the space beside him.

Rafael walked into the room and sat down. He sighed and rested his head on Trevor’s shoulder. Trevor immediately put his arms around him. He wasn’t going to speak, the floor was Rafael’s.

“I smoked.”

“I smell it.”

“I'm sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.”

“I'm not going to let it break me.” Rafael shook his head. “The truth is that nothing I do would ever be enough. I could meet a woman I thought was perfect for me and she’d be mad that she wasn’t Cuban or didn’t know the square root of 9,304. I'm happy. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, despite outside things that might make me unhappy. Every morning I wake up, I smile. OK, at least 4 mornings a week. You don’t always spend the night.”

“We need to get a place.”

“We will.” Rafael rubbed his bare leg. “We’re going to get married and get a house and live our wonderful fuckin bisexual not gay version of the American dream.”

“I love you, Rafael.” Trevor kissed his cheek.

“I love you too.”

“And if you do need to get things off your chest, you can talk to me. You don’t have to bottle them up inside.”

“I made myself a promise. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep it but I made myself a promise. No matter how this went tonight, it wasn’t going to change me. It hurt, a little, there's always a sting. But I'm OK. 

“I'm going to be OK. No second guessing, no worry that I'm a storm with no port. I have so much love and light in my life and we can't pick our family. Let's go to bed, cuchura. I know it’s a bit early…”

“No, that sounds like a plan.” Trevor nodded. He turned Rafael’s cheek so that they were looking at each other. He smiled and then kissed him. “When is the last time you got eight hours of sleep?”

“Do I look like a sloth to you? I live on four, thrive on five, throw a party on six.”

“When we’re married I'm putting my foot down on the sleep thing. One of these days you're going to start snoring in the courtroom. You…what? You’ve got such an adorable look on your face.”

“When we’re married.” Rafael sighed. “That sounds great.”

“I'm going to be the second best husband in the world.” Trevor said.

“Who's going to be the first?”

“That would be you, babe.”

“Oh no, I'm going to be a mediocre husband at best. They make sitcoms about husbands like me.”

“You sell yourself short.” Trevor laughed. “Short.”

“Really?” Rafael looked at him with wide green eyes. “Really? I'm going to get you for that.”

Trevor tried to get from the bed but Rafael got him tight by the waist and pulled him back. They tussled for a couple of minutes, Trevor’s long limbs going everywhere, before he could pin him down on the bed. Rafael’s smile was like sunshine as he straddled Trevor and held tight to his wrists.

“Apologize for that.”

“And if I don’t?” Trevor asked.

“I'm going to grind on you so hard and so good and you're going to come everywhere. But you won't be able to touch me.”

“Mmm, is that a threat or a promise, Counselor?”

“You kinky little…it’s a threat!” Rafael laughed. “Oh my god, it’s a threat.”

Trevor took the opportunity of Rafael being off his guard to roll them on the mattress. As soon as he was underneath him, Trevor rubbed his leg on the crotch of Rafael’s black slacks. His fiancée groaned and squirmed. The game was afoot.

“Tell me right now.” Trevor was making quick work of the buttons on Rafael’s shirt and then the button on his slacks. He was able to use his body to hold Rafael down, he had a height and weight advantage. “Do you want to make love or do you want to fuck? The choice is yours.”

Rafael wanted to be a selfish son of a bitch; have his cock sucked and still get eight hours of sleep. It wasn’t that he couldn’t give as good as he got but on the inside he was so tired. Sometimes sex could be draining, which was a wonderful thing. He just wasn’t sure he had the energy to be that active of a participant tonight. He told Trevor, hoping that he wasn’t disappointed. Trevor smiled and leaned to whisper in his ear.

“I'm going to take such good care of you. I have lube, I have time, and I have so much lust in my heart.”

He was the luckiest man in the world and would never forget it. Rafael was done letting anyone tell him that he wasn’t part of the most wonderful relationship. If it had to be him and Trevor against the entire world, so be it. Without a doubt, Trevor was going to stick by his side and be his family in every sense of the world. That was more than Rafael could ever say about even those who shared his blood.

***


End file.
